I've always heard that God answers prayer in three different ways: "yes", "wait" or "no". I have seen these three responses play out in my life over the past four weeks, and have spent most of today pondering these experiences and how they have impacted my view of prayer. Here are my stories:
Just after Thanksgiving, we realized we had lost one of our car keys. Since we are leasing a newer car, these aren't the good old fashioned "go to Wal-mart and make another one" keys...these are the high tech, customized, fancy keys. We made do with one set while we searched the house, the car, various purses, coat pockets, etc. Last Thursday I finally admitted defeat and asked Geoff to call the dealer about getting a new one. The cost for ONE key? $350!! I immediately started praying, simply asking God to help us find the lost key. When Jack and I got in the car to go home after school, we prayed together for the lost key. Shortly after getting home we were driving Annie to the orthodontist, and I shared with her my dismay that the new key would cost $350. She casually replied, "Oh. I found the key and put it back." WHAT?!?! It turns out that at some point she had taken the key (which also had a house key on it), brought it up to her room (most likely in her backpack) and then put it in one of her drawers (no explanation for that!). That afternoon (AS I WAS PRAYING), she went looking for a calculator in her drawers and found the key. I was immensely relieved and full of praise that God had answered our prayers....saving us $350 and providing an invaluable life lesson to our children about prayer and trusting God. What a joy it is when God's answer is "Yes!"
However....the answer isn't always "yes"....sometimes it is "wait". We have watched this play out over the past 2 years as we have prayed over Annie's brain injury. So many prayers....some mixed with tears, some mixed with anger, all mixed with desperation. I may never know why God's response was "wait". I know that He could have protected her from the injury, but He chose not to. I know that He could have healed her immediately, but He chose not to. Why did it take us so long to diagnose the brain injury? Why did it take so long to find the right doctors? Why did she have to give up so much of her high school experience to this injury? Asking why can make you crazy....waiting can make you crazy....at the end of the day, you are left with doubt or faith. I did my best to choose faith -- choosing to believe that God is good, that He loves Annie even more than we do, that He was in control. Today, exactly 2 years and 3 months after her injury, she was finally declared "cleared" by her doctors. The waiting was painful, but when the ultimate answer is "Yes!", there is praise and thanksgiving.
I wish I could end there....but sometimes God says "no". You may have seen on my facebook page that four weeks ago our friends lost their 12 year old daughter to a fatal genetic disorder. Oh, how I prayed for Wavey! I prayed for healing, I prayed for a cure, I prayed for miraculous intervention. When Wavey passed into Jesus' presence four weeks ago, it seemed as though my prayers had fallen on deaf ears. While I know that she is now in heaven -- whole, complete, healed -- that is not what I wanted. That was not what I prayed for. I long for her to be here....with her mom and dad, with her brother....living a full and happy life. So, what do you do when God says "no"? How do you respond when His plan is not your plan? How do you generate praise and gratitude when your heart is broken?
What I have learned this month is that the same God who said "yes" to the lost keys is the same God who made us "wait" two years for Annie to recover and the same God who seemed to say "no" by healing Wavey according to His will, not mine. Isaiah 55:8-9 has taken on a whole new meaning for me this month: " For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts"
I am not God. I cannot see the big picture. I do not hold eternity in the palm of my hand. For me, the value of prayer is not found in the answer, but in the exercise of faith to bring my requests to a loving Father and leave them there, trusting that He knows best. So whether the answer is a joyful yes, an agonizing wait, or a heartbreaking no, I will continue to pray in faith -- believing that God WILL answer....and that His answer is ALWAYS rooted in His goodness and love.
