For most of my life I have enjoyed some of my sweetest moments of prayer in my bed, either before going to sleep or when I wake up sometime during the night. Quite often, if not always, these times of prayer end with me falling asleep mid-prayer and waking up to the horrible realization that, once again, I fell asleep on God.
I've often (always?) felt that this was rude and disrespectful and that God must surely be displeased with me for my lack of attention. After all, how would I feel if I were having a significant conversation with someone and they fell asleep mid sentence? I think I would feel pretty slighted, to say the least.
This morning I am pondering a new perspective on this issue. I have been thinking about my own children, and how I would feel if they came to me at the end of the day or the middle of the night because they had fears/worries/concerns that they needed to share with me. What would my reaction be if I looked over at some point and realized that my child, who had been feeling anxious/nervous/fearful, was now sleeping soundly because my presence, my love for them, my willingness to listen, had calmed them to such an extent that they could finally drift off to sleep? Would I be angry with them? Would I feel slighted that they didn't care enough to finish our conversation? Of course not. I would be delighted that, in the comfort of my presence, they found rest.
When I think about what I believe to be true about God (His infinite love, His never-ending grace, His immeasurable mercy), it leads me to the conclusion that my Heavenly Father doesn't feel slighted when I snuggle in to His presence and find rest. I think about when Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Yes, I know that in the original Greek this may not mean "I will allow you to lay down in your cozy bed and sleep", but might that be at least a part of it? That bringing our burdens to our kind and loving God brings us to a place of rest, even literal sleep?
So -- I will press on with my nighttime dates with God. If those moments end with a conclusive "Amen", so be it. If those moments end with me drifting off to sleep in the loving arms of my Father, so be it. Regardless of the outcome, at the end of the day (pun intended!) there is no place I would rather be than resting in the comfort and presence of my precious God.
